Pretty Little Tommy With a Squeak
One afternoon as down the street I rambled,
My attention was attracted by a crowd
Of people, who with open mouths were list'ning
To some language, which to me seemed very loud;
It issued from a chap upon the corner,
A fellow who was overstocked with cheek,
He'd a little rubber toy which he was setting,
And he said it was a "Tommy with a squeak."
Spoken-he pulled a string, causing the little rubber toy to
move its arms and legs in a ridiculous manner, and at the same
time to utter a very peculiar little squeak ; then the gentleman
would turn round to his audience and say-
Will you buy a little Tommy with a squeak, squeak, squeak?
Pull it for a week, it will squeak, squeak, squeak ;
Buy a little Tommy with a squeak, squeak, squeak,
Pretty little Tommy with a squeak.
I purchased one, it was so very funny
That I couldn't keep it hidden out of sight,
At home we had a little boy in trousers."
Who had suffering been and crying all the night;
And I found the cause of all his youthful sorrow
Was, he'd had the stomach-ache for near a week.
But he laughed so loud, the pain at once departed,
When I let him take the "Tommy with a squeak."
Will you buy a little Tommy with a squeak, &c.
For some time I have sojourned in this city,
And of course I have been looking out for fun,
I've desired with the girls to get acquainted,
But they "turn me the cold shoulder " -every one;
There is one by whom I have been captivated,
And though to gain her notice I did seek,
She somehow frowned on all of my advances,
Till I bought a little "Tommy with a squeak!"
Spoken-I called on her last Sunday evening, the servant
announced me. I made a very elaborate bow and said "Good
evening, Sophrouia." She turned up her nose at me and sat down
in the corner. I made up my mind I had got to catch her some
way, I Walked over to where she was sitting, took the little rubher toy from my pocket and pulled the string. That settled the
whole business, she laughed very heartily and as she clutched the
little rubber toy she said-
Darling little Tommy with a squeak, &c.
Now advice in this matter I will give you,
And I'm certain you will find it true indeed,
If you try, and cannot win a girl's affections,
Buy a little rubber toy, and you'll succeed;'
For if when to plead your cause you would endeavor,
Should the lady blush and hang her head so meek,
She'll quickly smile and whisper yes so sweetly,
If you buy a little "Tommy with a squeak!"
Spoken-If you are in love with some charming young girl and
she fails to notice you, all that is necessary to gain her affections is
to do just exactly as I done-
Go And buy a little Tommy with a squeak, &c.