Copyright, 1877, by E. H. Harding.
Oh, this is the age of invention,
Strange wonders turn up every day,
All the sciences seem in convention,
Where they'll stop at no mortal can say;
But the latest and greatest of mysteries,
Which other wonders surpass,
To go down in posterity's histories,
Are these wonderful panes of blue glass.
'Tis a science none others compare to,
"The philosopher's stone found at last"
For 'twill cure all the ills flesh is heir to,
These wonderful panes of blue glass.
I If a pane of blue glass you put over
The head of your mother-in-law,
She'll be tame as a lamb in spring clover,
And she can't even wag her own jaw;
Your own wife won't dare ask where you've been to
If a night at your club you should pass
If you have in your own bed-room windows
These wonderful panes of blue glass.-Chorus.
'Twould do well in the windows of churches,
It might keep the preachers from sin.
And in street cars 'twould make the conductors
Account for each fare they take in;
And if you had a brick in your hat, sir,
For a solder man wanted to pass,
'T would be easy for you to do that, sir,
In your hat put a pane of blue glass.-Chorus.
A blue goblet full of good whiskey
Would be most too tempting to pass,
And no temperance man will get frisky
If he drinks his rum from a blue glass;
All the boarding-house keepers will have them.
And the boarders will get fat quite fast,
They can't tell the "shirt buttons "from "grizzle,"
When the "hash "is served up in blue glass.-Chorus
If we'd send up a dozen of glazers
To the Capitol with this "blue glass,"
Congressmen would be honest as "blazes,"
And the days of their stealing be past;
If we had "blue glass "ballot boxes,
We'd have fair elections at last,
And a President upright and honest,
If the "White House "was glazed with blue glass -Chorus.