DORKINS WAS TIGHT.
Tune- "Dorkins' Night."
The theatre was full, and so were the actors,
Dan Dorkins was going to appear
That night in a bare-footed slack-wire clog,
For he was the Pompey round here.
The bar-room was fearfully crowded with beats,
Who awaited a pleasant surprise;
For they knew they would eat
When the lunch was set out,
And they longed for the curtain to rise.
The curtain arose, and so did the people,
Who began to shout And hurrah;
Dan Dorkins came out with young Oliver Twist,
But they gave him the laugh And yah! yah!
The play it began when the curtain went up,
But something was wrong I felt sure;
"He's away off his base, "says John Jas. Mansfield,
That never went back on the poor.
A brick-well it was-I saw Dorkins start,
And carom on the dark red for two;
And it made me feel thirsty to see how he worked,
But continually dropping his cue.
He says, "I'm the king, "when a woman jumped up,
Cried, "You lie, for you're one of the gang,
And you owe me for washing. "That knocked Dorkins cold,
And his head on his breast did hang.
At length the footlights he approached with a rush,
And "ladies and gentlemen," said,
"If I haven't drank enough bourbon to-night,
The fault is my wealth, not my head.
Many a time I have made you all sick,
And get up and go out for a beer;
When me and Jim Stokes walked a mile in a week,
How I wish Dan O'Leary was here.
You insult me to-night and say I am sober,
For years I've been a Hamlet alone;
I'll tell you the reason, I know you will treat,
I've a mother in-law dead-drunk at home."