WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW.
If you'll read the daily papers, you'll find there's something new,
And if you listen to my song I'll try and tell to you
Some of the very funny things that happen to and fro,
And how they happen in this land is what I'd like to know.
Now take the caw of workingmen with many mouths to feed,
Their wages are oft times reduced on account of rich men's greed;
And if they go upon a strike they never get a show-
Do rich men think the poor must live is what I'd like to know.
Why don't old maids get married, and all the women vote?
Why can't we make trade dollars pass just like a dollar note?
Why send men to the North Pole to perish in the snow?
Ain't the dude a grown-up monkey now? is what I'd like to know.
Why can't we have poor men in Congress as well as the aristocrats?
Why don't they send the Chinese home to live on mice and rats?
Won't England soon take pity on the land where the shamrock grows?
Won't we soon see old Ireland free? is what I'd like to know.
Now they say that Blaine was crazy to be our President-
Is the Prince of Wales so very poor, his mother pays the rent?
Is Queen Victoria mashed on Arthur?
Has St. John any show to marry Mrs. Langtry now? Is what I'd like to know.
Is the Czar of Russia happy when he thinks of dynamite?
Is Ingersol religious? does Oscar Wilde get tight?
Why do they beat Ben Butler, and fill his head with woe?
Will Cleveland prove an honest man? is what I'd like to know.