Does Your Mother Take In Washing?
I know a jolly bachelor,
Who lives next door to me,
Though he is thought a bit of a bore
In jolly good company;
For he is such an inquisitive man,
That if you e'er should meet,
He'll button-hole you if he can,
And give you the following treat:
Does your mother take in washing?
Has she sold her mangle?
What's become of the old piano,
Your sister used to strangle?
Has your father plenty of work?
Does he still get boozed, too?
Tell me all the particulars,
And stop as long as you used to?
Now this old man has lots of wealth,
So he's not without a few
Choice friends, who'll call to drink his health,
And borrow a pound or two;
But the old man cross-examines them so,
That they're glad to get away
As rich as they came, and as out they go,
"With a grin on his face he will say:-Chorus.
This bachelor blessed with a lovely niece,
His heiress, so they say,
So I thought I'd try to be in the piece,
And told my love one day.
"Oh! speak to my uncle, sir, " she said,
"With his consent we'll wed."
So I asked him if she could be my bride,
When he drew me aside and said:-Chorus.
The ladies give him the sweetest smiles,
And flatter And coax him so,
But he can see through their artful wiles.
Though his knowledge he does not show;
They'll make him presents of gloves and ties.
And handkerchiefs white as snow;
Which he will wave before their eyes,
As he asks with a chuckle and crow:-Chorus.