TICK! TICK! TICK!
Vile going down town von fine day last Vintcr,
A telegraph office I happened to pass,
Und dere, alongside an insdrument sideling,
Vos a neat, but a pretty und modest young lass;
By vay of acquaintance, I gwick sent a message
To my married sister who lives oud of town;
Und told de young girl I vould vait for de answer,
Und den she politely asked me to sit down. Ah!
Spoken.-I sat down, und ve commenced to talk about diamond
jewellery und rotten eggs, und dings like dot, und I vos just going
to kiss" her, ven de answer from my sister came over de wires, mit a:
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick,
Music rich I thought so sweet,
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick,
Yen Maria und I first did meet.
I den vent to see her not very long afder,
Introduced lo her farder, her moder as veil,
Her sister, her broders, her aunt und her uncles,
Und so many relatives I cannot tell.
Ye used to go valking out on moonlight evenings,
Ve spoke of pure love, und I tell you 'dwas fine,
Till at last I managed for to get tip courage.
Und I asked dot young gal of she vould be mine.
Spoken.-I said to her: " Of you lofe me as I do you, no spitz
dog can cut our love in two pieces." Und ven I got drough she
didn't say: "Allow me a few moments to compose myself," or
"My leedle heart is fluttering." Dere vos no soft language like
dot; she jumped as gwick at my offer as:-Chorus.
Ve've been married dree years now, und ve have five children,
Dere'a two pairs of girl twins und von bouncing boy,
Und all de neighbors say, ve should be happy,
But I assure you married life vos no joy.
Her relations, too, are all living mit us,
Und never a cent for dere board vill dey pay;
Dey sleep half de time, dey eat all de victuals,
Vile I have to go oud und vork hard all day.
Spoken.-Talk about married life being a joy-vell, ve've got
id in our family. I dink I'm "bulling de market." I tell you;
ven you marry, never marry a family of relatives-marry von;
von is a dose. It is all I can do dese hard times, to make money
enough to support my family; of I vant a drink or a cigar, I've
got to get it on:-Chorus.