American Old Time Song Lyrics: 10 Hes Never Done Anything Since

Theater, Music-Hall, Nostalgic, Irish & Historic Old Songs, Volume 10

He's Never Done Anything Since.
Copyright, 1886, by Willis Woodward & Co.

One fine day my brother, he picked up a pin,
And he's never done anything since;
He sneaked up to a man and he stuck it in him,
And he's never done anything since.
The man hollered murder, my brother was glad,
The man kicked him a mile and then he was sad;
For the man whom he stuck with the pin was his dad
And he's never done anything since.

My uncle was president of a large bank,
And he's never done anything since;
And from all wicked deeds he always shrank,
And he's never done anything since.
One day from the bank he was suddenly missed,
Depositors for their money then did insist,
But he had it in Canada safe in his fist,
And he's never done anything since.

The police they all wear such very fine clothes.
And they've never done anything since;
And a hat called a helmet that covers their nose,
And they've never done anything since.
They stroll around town to show off their form,
They're just like a rainbow as sure as you're born;
For they're never around until after the storm.
And they've never done anything since.

The girls nowadays all go in for show,
And they've never done anything since;
To elope with a coachman is now all the go.
And they've never done anything since.
The young ladies now are dressing with care,
It takes them all day to bang their hair,
And at night they hang it on the back of a chair,
And they've never done anything since.

My mother-in-law went to the roller skating rink,
And she's never done anything since;
She skated around 'till her cheeks were quite pink,
And she's never done anything since.
She fell with a thud, but for that didn't care,
She showed her striped hose and the people did stare;
For on the hose was a card marked " Ten cents a pair,"
And she's never been out skating since.