PADDY'S CURIOSITY SHOP
Did you hear tell of Paddy's Museum,
Its ancient And modern antiquities;
If not, when ye hear, ye'll see em,
Of their fame all old Ireland speaks.
I was always considered a lover
Of antiquities, sure from my birth,
And did somehow or other discover
What nobody else could on earth.
So don't talk about Barnum's Museum;
If in passin' my house you will stop,
There's things, you'll be struck for to see 'em,
In Paddy's curiosity shop.
I've been twinty-nine times round the globe,
And niver took sleep night or day;
I've had double the patience uv Job,
To bring all these relics away.
With great kindness I have l>ecn trated,
I've bin twice kilt and shot iuto two,
You'll belave it all whin I've related
My list of curiosities through.-Chorus.
The relic I take the most pride on,
Is Ould Mother Shipton's birch broom.
The one the ould girl would My stride on.
When she din'd wid the man in the moon.
And I've got the mattock and spade,
With which Adam the ground cultivated;
And an ould furrin' coin that was made
Before ever the world was created.-Chorus.
I've a walking-stick not very pliant,
Don' fancy I'm pitchin' it strong;
It belon'd to the Irish giant.
An' it's just two-and-thirty feet long;
I've his boots, too. and they are like towers;
A coach you' might inside them drive;
If you'd fall in one, och! by the powers!
Ye'd niver be got out alive. - Chorus.
I've the bustle of Jupiter's mother,
An' Vanus, the goddess', stays;
An' I've got the steel pen, an' no other,
Wid which Shakespeare wrote all his plays.
I've got Dr. Dodd's kitchen table,
I've the brains of the famed lamed pig;
I've the roof off the Tower o' Babel,
An' an Irish Ambassador's wig.-Chorus.
I've got a froze flame from Mount Etna
That was caught by a man passing by;
I've a sly cupid's dart, forged at Gretna,
An' the lash of Pope Gregory's eye;
I've the toe-nail of Ugly Mahomet,
I've the whiskers of Whittington's cat;
I've got Miss Queen Elizabeth's bonnet,
An' ould Mother Hubbard's cock'd hat. - Chorus.
I've a tree here that lump sugar grows on
Widout aither damage or hurt;
I've a handkerchief Mars blew his nose on,
An' the Queen Otaheita's she-shirt;
An' I've got King Laertes' bowl
That'll hold twenty gallons or more;
An' the very identical roll
That the baker gave Mrs. Jane Shore.- Chorus.
I've got all sorts of relics and stones,
I've got patched coats widout any stitches;
I've a portion of Gulliver's bones.
An' a pair uv King David's ould breeches.
I'll conclude now, because my physician
Says, singing too much turns the brain;
But I 11 give you the second edition
Some night when you drop in again. - Chorus.