THE ROMANCE OF A HAMMOCK.
As recited with great success by Gus Williams.
Shady tree, babbling brook.
Girl in hammock reading book;
Golden curls, tiny feet,
Girl in hammock looks so sweet.
Man rides past, big moustache,
Girl in hammock makes a " mash."
"Mash " is mutual, the day is set,
Man and maiden married get.
Married now, a year and a day,
Keeping house in Avenue A.
Red hot stove, beefsteak frying,
Girl got married, cooking trying.
Cheeks all burning, eyes look red,
Girl got married, nearly dead.
Biscuit burnt up, beefsteak charry,
Girl got married, awful sorry.
Man comes home, tears moustache,
Mad as blazes; got no hash.
Thinks of hammock in the lane,
Wishes maiden back again.
Maiden also thinks of swing,
And wants to go back, too, poor thing.
Hour of midnight, baby squawking,
Man in bare feet, bravely walking.
The baby yells, now the other
Twin, he strikes up like his brother.
Paregoric by the bottle,
Emptied into baby's throttle.
Naughty tack, points in air,
Waiting some one's foot to tear.
Man in bare feet-see him-there!
Jiminy Christmas! hear him swear!
Raving crazy, get his gun.
And blows his head off-dead and gone.
Pretty widow, with a book,
In the hammock by the brook.
Man rides past, big moustache;
Keeps on riding-nary "mash."