American Old Time Song Lyrics: 03 Theyve All Got A Wife But Me

Theater, Music-Hall, Nostalgic, Irish & Historic Old Songs, Volume 3

Theyve all Got a Wife but Me
As sung by Ben Dodge.

A story true I'll tell to you,
Of the troubles of my life;
Though in love I've been-like many other men-
I never could get a wife;
For the girls are so shy (but I can't tell why),
And sad it is to relate;
Though I've tried and tried, till I've almost died,
Still I cannot find a mate.

Chorus.
There's the monkey and the dog, the turtle and the frog.
The fishes that swim in the sea;
And the pretty little squirrel, with his tail up in a curl,
Oh, they've all got a wife but me.

When first in love, head o'er heels I dove,
It was with a girl named Lize;
She'd a nose hard to beat, she'd number ten feet,
And a pair of codfish eyes;
I offered my hand, in a style quite grand,
And what do you suppose?
She said very cool, that she wasn't such a fool,
And she turned up her pretty little nose.

Spoken-It made me outrageously mad to think that she went
back en me after I squandered all my wealth upon her-not that
I cared for the money, but I hated to realize that-

Chorus.
There's the chickens and the cat, the weasel and the rat,
The 'skeeter and the bumblebee;
The cunning little lizard and the naughty old buzzard,
Oh, they've all got a wife but me.

My love number two, was a girl named Sue,
Who clerked in a dollar store;
Each day I dressed in all my best,
And wandered past the door.
I wrote her a letter (oh, I ought to know better),
And asked her to share my lot;
Next day I met her "feller, and he thumped me in the smeller,
That was all the answer I got.

Spoken- Oh, I tell you it is a horrible thing to contemplate­just to think that I am left to enjoy single wretchedness, while-

Chorus.
There's the horse and the steer, the goat and the deer,
The hornet, the wasp and the flea;
The fussy little coon, and the ugly old baboon,
Oh, they've all got a wife but me.