Hang Up Your Hat Behind the Door
I felt sick and tired of a bachelor's life,
And so I began to look out for a wife;
The young ones were giddy, and so I confess'd
That a nice little widow would suit me the best;
One day, at a grocer's shop chancing to call,
With the Missis, a widow, in love I did fall,
She was fat, fair and forty, well dress'd, and all that,
Thinks I, here's the place where I'll hang up my hat.
Spoken - But little did I think she'd make use of the very
same words and say -
Hang up your hat behind the door that leads into the shop,
Make yourself at home, John, as if you meant to stop;
Nobody comes in the parlor, so don't uneasy be-
Sit at your ease, so long as you please, for the place belongs o me.
Her age, as I've said, was a couple of score.
And my years would number a half dozen more,
So I made up my mind to win her I'd try,
And called every evening some trifle to buy;
But one day she begged that I longer would stop,
And step in the room at the back of the shop,
I did, but so shy, continued to stand,
All the while I was twirling my hat in my hand.
Spoken- I suppose that was why she said- Chorus.
Well, we started on every-day topics, and soon,
Although over forty, we found we could spoon,
For she laid her head on my manly chest,
And, of course, I said everything just for the best;
I proposed-was accepted-and sin?, in return,
Said, "the shop that I keep is a paying concern,
And when we are wed, or even before,
I'll alter the name painted over the door"- Chorus.