The Wee Magic Stane
Oh the Dean o' Westminster wis a powerful man,
He held a' the strings o' the state in his hand.
But with a' this great business it flustered him nane,
Till some rogues ran away wi' his wee ma-gic stane."
cho: Wi' a too-ra-li-oor-a-li-oor-a-li-ay."
Noo the stane had great pow'rs that could dae such a thing
And withoot it, it seemed, we'd be wantin' a king,
So he called in the polis and gave this decree--
"Go an' hunt oot the Stane and return it tae me."
So the polis went beetlin' up tae the North
They huntit the Clyde and they huntit' the Forth [ie, west & east]
But the wild folk up yonder jist kiddit them a'
Fur they didnae believe it wis magic at a'.
Noo the Provost o' Glesga, Sir Victor by name,
Was awfy pit oot when he heard o' the Stane
So he offered the statues that staun in the Square [made of stone]
That the high churches' masons might mak a few mair.
When the Dean o' Westminster wi' this was acquaint,
He sent for Sir Victor and made him a saint,
"Now it's no use you sending your statues down heah" [English accent]
Said the Dean, "But you've given me a jolly good ideah."
So he quarried a stane o' the very same stuff
An' he dressed it a' up till it looked like enough
Then he sent for the Press and announced that the Stane
Had been found and returned to Westminster again.
When the reivers found oot what Westminster had done, [thieves]
They went aboot diggin' up stanes by the ton
And fur each wan they feenished they entered the claim
That THIS was the true and original stane.
Noo the cream o' the joke still remains tae be tellt,
Fur the bloke that was turnin' them aff on the belt
At the peak o' production was so sorely pressed
That the real yin got bunged in alang wi' the rest.
So if ever ye come on a stane wi' a ring
Jist sit yersel' doon and appoint yersel King
Fur there's nane wud be able to challenge yir claim
That ye'd croont yersel King on the Destiny Stane.
The Stone of Scone, on which the Bruce was crowned, is a basic
symbol of Scottish culture and nationalism. Therefore, it was
"removed" to Westminister Abbey by the English. It disappeared
on 12/25/51. There was considerable investigation and a similar rock was
eventually recovered. Several forged copies were then displayed which
were identical to the "recovered" one.
I believe the whereabouts of the original is still an open question.
The Scots thought this was pretty funny and enough songs appeared
to honor the circumstances to be published in a small book, Sangs o' the
Stane; (Scottish Secretariat.)
"The Wee Magic Stane" is by far the best known of them and may be the only
one still sung. This version acquired from 101 Scottish Songs, compiled
by Norman Buchan; Wm. Collins Sons and o. Ltd.; Glasgow & London (1962)
Also see "Superintendent Barrett." AJS