Eight weeks out of work, and up to eyebrows into debt,
A wizard with computers takes a job to run a Net,
And finds that middle management all over is the same:
Incompetent at everything but shifting 'round the blame.
Three things never trust in: a program with no source,
The promise of a raise, and any boss with no remorse.
One among the managers becomes the wizard's boss.
When things go wrong for him, it's the wizard takes the loss.
The wizard works in evenings and on weekends for no pay
To keep the job to pay the bills that never go away.
Three things most annoying: a verse that does not rhyme,
A check that's "in the mail" and too much unpaid overtime.
Then they get a contract with a client to install
A network in a building that is concrete wall-to-wall.
The client speaks no English, and the wizard nothing more.
And the client hasn't ever tried to use a Net before.
Three things are most treacherous: a network that is new,
A contract that's unwritten, and a job you cannot do.
So one day when the wizard thinks things can't get any worse,
The phone rings and the wizard groans and answers with a curse.
"The Net has crashed! The system's down! And there is hell to pay!
And, oh, your boss is on two weeks vacation leave today!"
Three things never anger: the one who runs your Net,
The hardware tech who programs, and the third thing I forget.
Ten hours after that, the network's once more on it's feet.
The system's up and stable, but the wizard's feeling beat.
And back at home the message light blinks on the phone that day:
An offer of a better job -- less work and higher pay!
Three things it is better, far, that only you should know:
What you're paid, why you quit, and where you're gonna go!
The wizard thus gives notice to this sweatshop in disguise.
And all except the wizard are thus taken by surprise.
And all except the wizard will rue this fateful day
For now the network tech support is gonna go away.
Three things are most perilous: connectors that detach,
An intermittent error, and a password echoed back.
So now the wizard works by day and spends the nights in sleep.
And weekends now are spent in ways the wizard likes to keep
For overtime is NOT required, and paid if it's put in.
So now the wizard can afford to go to Cons again!
Three things cherish mightily: a job that's not insane,
Co-workers who respect you, and a boss who's not mundane!
copyright Geoff Avalon, 1993