There is a Happy Land 2
There is a happy land
Down in Duke Street Jail,
Where a' the prisoners stand
Tied tae a nail.
Ham an' eggs they never see,
Dirty watter for yer tea;
There they live in misery--
God save the Queen!
There is a happy land by the `Red School'
Where Miss Macdonald stands, preaching like a fool.
Long legs and skinny jaws,
She can fairly use the tawse
On the wee bit bairnies' paws,
Three times a day.
(1) Coll. Glasgow, 1958; Hendry/Stephen Scotscape
(1978), 92 [var. 5 you ne'er shall see 7 you live].
[Recorded by Robin Hall.]
(2) Opies Lore 365, from Kirkcaldy. The name of course
Cf. Ritchie Singing Street (1964), 42, an Edinburgh
street song, dated to World War II; and an Ulster
version in Kane (1983), 68 ("There is a boarding
school"), with Fowke's note, 208. MS
Another variant is quoted by Mark Twain:
There is a boarding house, far, far away
Where they serve [pork and beans*] three times a day.
You should hear the boarders yell
When they hear the dinner bell
They give the landlord ____, three times a day.
*I think I remember [pork and beans], but I could be wrong. RG