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The sexual life of the camel
Is stranger than anyone thinks.
At the height of the mating season
He tries to bugger the Sphinx.

But the Sphinx's posterier sphincter
Is clogged by the sands of the Nile,
Which accounts for the hump on the camel,
And the Sphinx's inscrutable smile.

In the process of syphilization
From the anthropoid ape down to man,
It is generally held that the Navy
Has buggered whatever it can.

Yet recent extensive researches
By Darwin and Huxley and Hall
Conclusively proove that the hedgehog
Has never been buggered at all.

We therefore believe our conclusion
Is incontrovertibly shown
That comparatively safety on shipboard
Is enjoyed by the hedgehog alone.

Why haven't they done it at Spithead
As they've done it ay Harvard and Yale
And also at Oxford and Cambridge
By shaving the spines off its tail?
From Erotic Muse, Cray

E-Book - An Annotated Compendium of Old Time American Songs by James Alverson III