It you visit American city,
You will find it very pretty,
Just two things of which you must beware:
Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air.
They got smog and sewage and mud,
Turn on your tap and get
Hot and cold running crud.
See the halibuts and the sturgeons
Being wiped out by detergeons,
Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly,
But they don't last long if they try.
You can use the latest toothpaste,
And then rinse your mouth
With industrial waste.
Just go out for a breath of air,
And you'll be ready for Medicare,
The city streets are really quite a thrill,
If the hoods don't get you, monoxide will.
Wear a gas mask and a veil,
Then you can breathe
Long as you don't inhale.
Lots of things that you can drink
But stay away from the kitchen sink
Throw out your breakfast garbage and I've got a hunch
That folks downstream will drink it for lunch.
So go to The city, see the crazy people there,
Like lambs to the slaughter, they're
Drinking the water and breathing
(cough.........) the air.
Copyright Tom Lehrer