Peter Pulling Blues
Papa caught me in the loft, I'd just finished jacking off
And he grabbed me by the leg and pulled me down;
Papa said, "You gawdamned fool, stop this playin' with your tool
And I'll take you to the whorehouse up in town.
cho: If you're playing with your prick, well you'd better stop it quick
It will soon hang down and watch you shine your shoes,
I have f***ed my final cow, and I'm in the 'sylum now
THat is why I've got the peter pulling blues.
Papa said,"Now just how long have you jerked your f***in' dong?
It has made a lot of fellers climb the walls;
Son, this damned jack-offin' bull, it has the 'sylums full
They'll put acid on your cock, cut out your balls.
Papa scared me half to death, he was cussin' every breath
And I never had f***ed nothin' but a cow;
But that practice I had quit 'cause a heifer took a s***
On my prick and that is why I'm jackin' now.
We knocked at the whorehouse door, greeted by the madam whore
She was drinkin', I guess, whiskey from a glass;
Papa said, "This is my son, and this bastard's twenty-one
Annabelle, it's time he had a piece of ass."
So she led me from the room, I could smell her damned perfume
And she said, "Sweetheart, you must take off your pants."
When she grabbed me by the cock, it got harder than a rock
'Cause to f*** a girl at last I had the chance.
Then she led me to a stand, and eye dropper in her hand
And she squirted something red into my prick;
Well, it hurt so gawdamned bad that the hard on that I'd had
It was gone and I was stranded up s*** crick.
So she skinned my peter back, and that bitch began to jack
She said, "Honey, you have got a pretty rod,
Let me get it hard again, then sweetheart I'll put it in
It will feel good when you're shootin' off your wad.
But she couldn't get it hard, though she rubbed the head with lard
The bell rank and she said," I gotta go,
Babe, your gawdamn jackin' off, it has left your peter soft
Pay your bill and then you mother f***er, blow!"
From Whorehouse Bells Were Ringing, Logsden