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(Isaac Asimov?)

Sodium citrate, ammonium cyanide
Phosphates and nitrates and chlorides galore
Just have one o' these and you'll never need more.

Got messed up last night on some furfuryl alcohol
Followed it down with a gallon of propanol
Drank from mid-morning until late afternoon
And then spat on the floor and blew up the saloon.

Powdered aluminum, nitrogen iodide
Slop it around and add in some benzene
Then top off the punch with Fluorescein

Whiskey, tequila and rum are too tame, no
The stuff that I drink must explode into flame.
When I sneeze I dissolve all the paint in the room,
And then rattle the walls with an earth-shaking BOOM

Go soak your head in a jar of formaldehyde
Scrub very hard, and then rinse out your mane
In dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane....


E-Book - An Annotated Compendium of Old Time American Songs by James Alverson III