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It was pleasant and delightful on a midsummers day
When Sweet William, ever hungry, went to view the matinee.
But the concessions, they weren't open and Sweet William was
So he ate the nickelodeon in the lobby of the Met.

Then the manager accosted Sweet William in tears,
While Sweet William, very thoughtfully, munched the teeth from
the gears.
Crying, "Sir to destroy such a fine machine's a waste."
William said, "I do agree with you, ketchup would improve the

Then a policeman round the corner, he came straight away.
"Such behavior in a public place is a crime and will not pay.
So if you will follow peacefully, to the station house we'll go.
William, will you come along with me?"  "Oh, no sergeant, no."
Then the cuffs from off his gunbelt he instantly drew.
Crying, "William, I will lock you up, like the beasts in the zoo.
Where seals, they bark for fishes, and ferocious lions roar.
And you'll never eat another nickelodeon, no more."


Words by Rodger Sherman to the tune of Pleasant and Delightful.

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E-Book - An Annotated Compendium of Old Time American Songs by James Alverson III