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Madeline Schmidt

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Madeline Schmidt

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Madeline Schmidt

There was a young maiden named Madeline Schmidt,
Who went to the doctor 'cause she couldn't s***,
He gave her some medicine all wrapped up in glass,
Up went the window and out went her ass!

Chorus: It was brown, brown, s*** all around,
It was brown, brown, s*** all around,
It was brown, brown, s*** all around,
And the whole world was covered in s***, s***, s***, s***!

A handsome young copper was walking his beat,
He just happened to be on that side of the street,
He looked up so innocent, he looked up so shy,
And a big wad of s*** hit him right in HIS EYE!

He turned to the east and he turned to the west,
Then a bloody great turd hit him right on the chest,
He turned to the north, then he turned to the south,
And another great turd hit him right in HIS MOUTH!

That handsome young copper he cursed and he swore,
He called that young maiden a dirty old whore,
And beneath London Bridge you can still see him sit,
With a sign 'round his neck saying BLINDED BY s***!

Two fast moving Hashers came running along,
Throwing flour and paper and singing their song,
Singing, Hi-Diddle-Diddle, and flogging their dongs,
The hares were trail-setting, the pack wouldn't be long.

The hares found the copper alone by the pit,
Threw flour in the holes where his eyes used to fit,
The hares led the pack by a block and a bit,
Said, "We'll lead the damn pack through these puddles of s***!"

The hares led the pack to the edge of the pit,
They slipped and they slid in the puddles of s***,
They fell in the shiggy, right up to their tails,
Ere they sank out of sight, they marked it TRUE TRAIL!

The pack followed bravely, the pack followed true,
They followed the hares into that vile brew,
They followed true trail right into the pit,
Soon the whole pack of Hashers was drowning in s***!

This tale has a lesson if you think a bit,
Don't follow true trail right into the pit,
Remember that hares can be damn bloody fools,
And in Hashing, like loving, there's NO f***ING RULES!

This song is also known as "Adelaine Schmidt."  The second
version, adapted for hashing, is from a Thailand hash songbook PW
Hashing, for the innocent, is the organized pactice of drinking
and singing rude songs, under the pretence of participating in
competetive Hare and Hounds. Sort of like Rugby. RG

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E-Book - An Annotated Compendium of Old Time American Songs by James Alverson III