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MIT Drinking Song

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MIT Drinking Song

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MIT Drinking Song

Godiva was a lady who through Coventry did ride
To show the royal villagers her fine and pure white hide.
The most observant man of all, an Engineer, of course,
Was the only man who noticed that Godiva rode a horse.


We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the Engineers.
We can, we can, we can, we can, demolish forty beers.
Drink rum, drink rum, drink rum all day, and come along with us
Cause we don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn for us!

She said, "I've come a long, long way, and I will go as far
With the man who takes me from this horse and leads me to a bar."
The man who took her from her steed and led her to a beer
Was a bleary-eyed surveyor and a drunken Engineer.

Godiva was a lady well-endowed there is no doubt.
She never wore a stitch of clothes, just wound her hair about.
The first man who did make her was an Engineer, of course,
But on just one beer an artsie queer had made Godiva's horse.

Ace Towing roams the Cambridge streets each day and every night.
Towing cars and stowing cars to hide them out of sight.
They tried to tow Godiva's horse, the Engineers said, "Hey!"
Then towed away their towing truck, and now the Ace must pay!

Rapunzel let her hair down for two suitors down below,
So one of them could grab a hold and give the old heave-ho.
The prince began to climb at once, but soon came out the worst,
For the Engineer rode up a lift, and reached Rapunzel first.

Caes set out for Egypt at the age of fifty three,
But Cleopatra's blood was warm, her heart was young and free.
And every night when Julius said goodnight at three o'clock,
A Roman Engineer was waiting just around the block!

Sir Francis Drake and all his ships set out for Calais Bay.
They'd heard the Spanish rum fleet was headed out that way.
But the Engineers had beat them, by a night and half a day,
And though as drunk as ptarmigans, you still could hear them say:

Venus was a statue made entirely of stone
Without a stitch upon her, she was naked as a bone.
On seeing that she had no clothes, an Engineer discoursed,
"Why, the damn thing's only concrete, and should be reinforced!"

My father was a miner from the northern Malamute.
My mother was a mistress in a house of ill-repute.
The last time that I was at home, these words rang in my ears,
"Go to M.I.T., you son of a bitch, and join the Engineers!"

My father peddles opium, my mother's on the dole.
My sister used to walk the streets, but now she's on parole.
My brother runs a restaurant, with bedrooms in the rear.
But they don't even speak to me 'cause I'm an Engineer.

A maiden and an Engineer were sitting in the park.
The Engineer was working on some research after dark.
His scientific method was a marvel to observe
While his right hand held the figures, his left hand traced the curves.

I happened once upon a girl whose eyes were full of fire.
Her physical endowments would have made your hands perspire.
To my surprise she told me that she never had been kissed.
Her boyfriend was a tired Engineering scientist.

The Army and the Navy went out to have some fun.
They went down to the taverns where the fiery liquors run.
But all they found were empties for the Engineers had come,
And traded all their instruments for gallon kegs of rum.

An Engineer once stumbled through the halls of Building 10.
That night he'd drunken rum enough to drown a dozen men.
In fact, the only things there were that kept him on his course
Were the boundary conditions and the coriolis force.

An artsman and an Engineer once found a gallon can.
Said the artsman, "Match me drink for drink, let's see if you're a man."
They drank three drinks, the artsman fell, his face was turning green,
But the Engineer drank on and said, "It's only gasoline."

Princeton's run by Wellesley, and Wellesley's run by Yale.
And Yale is run by Vassar, and Vassar's run by tail.
Harvard's run by stiff pricks, the kind you raise by hand,
But Tech is run by Engineers, the finest in the land.

If we should find a Harvard man within our sacred walls,
We'll take him to the physics lab and amputate his balls.
And if he hollers "Uncle," I'll tell you what we'll do,
We'll stuff his ass with broken glass, and seal it up with glue.

And should there be a Harvard man a-strollin' our Great Court,
We'll fetch a pail of river glop and make him drink a quart.
The water of the River Charles can fix his every flaw,
And the Engineers all drink it 'cuz it makes us what we are.

M.I.T. was M.I.T. when Harvard was a pup.
And M.I.T. will be M.I.T. when Harvard's time is up.
And any Harvard SON OF A BITCH who thinks he's in our class
Can pucker up his rosy lips and kiss the beaver's ass.

I am a whore from Radcliffe and I f*** for fifty cents.
I lay my ass upon the grass, my pants upon the fence.
I'll let you rub my belly, or on Sunday f*** for free,
But get off of me, you son of a B., if you're from M.I.T.

An M.I.T. computer man got drunk one fateful night.
He opened up the console and smashed everything in sight.
When they finally subdued him, the judge he stood before,
Said, "Lock him up for 20 years, he's rotten to the core!"

A graduate in chemistry went out to take a stroll
Along the old Charles River bank, where all the compounds roll.
That day he felt dejected at the bursting of a dream,
For he couldn't seem to find a trace of water in the stream.

A physics man from M.I.T. went out and drank his fill,
And then went to a strip joint 'cause he had some time to kill.
The motions that he witnessed there excited all his nerves,
And he filled eleven napkins with equations of the curves.

The bravest souls at M.I.T. are those in A.P.O.
There is no place on earth, or off, that they won't dare to go.
They're just a bunch of volunteers, and happy with their lot,
For they know they're here to serve you, if you want them to or not.

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