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If I Had a Shiny Gun (Dorothy Parker) If I had a shiny gun, I could have a world of fun Putting bullets through the brain Of the folks that give me pain. If I had some poison gas, I could make the moments pass Bumping off a number of People whom I do not love. But I have no lethal weapon So does fate our pleasure step on. And they are alive and well, Who should be, by rights, In Hell. Note: I sing the to Hark! The Herald Angels Sing. RG