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I Like a Moose (Feminist)

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I Like a Moose (Feminist)

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I Like a Moose (Feminist)
(Anne Bredon)

There's an infamous song goin' 'round 'bout a moose
It's really quite funny and quite full of juice,
But all of it's told from a masculine view,
And a lot of us women want to get a piece too.

cho: Moose, moose, I want a moose
     I've never had anything quite like a moose.
     I've had lots of others, my life has been loose
     But I've never had anything quite like a moose.

I figured it all out one day by myself.
When my man went off and left me on the shelf,
He'd found him a new love, a nubile moose-ess
Which gave me a bad case of rampant distress.

"What's sauce for the gander is sauce for the goose."
Said I as I set out to find me a moose;
But I ran into problems that men do not mind,
For male moose are seasonal creatures, you'll find.

I hunted in winter, I hunted in spring,
I hunted all summer and found not a thing;
But I found my moose when leaves started to fall
And...oh brother! dis I have a ball.

With my arms 'round his barrel, my feet by his tail
I hanged and we banged and we really did flail,
Bouncing and jouncing I came with a roar
I never had had such a great lay before.

But autumn soon passed and so I said goodbye
I'll be here next year when the leaves start to fly;
Yes I will return when the leaves start to fall
And we'll ball and we'll ball and we'll ball and we'll ball.

And so, my dear sisters, I have to confess
Being balled by a moose, it is really the best
But you'll make out with others for most of the year
For male moose are seasonal creatures, I fear.

A bear in the winter is furry and warm
And if you don't tickle, he'll do you no harm.
In spring try an eagle, his feathers are light
That is if you are not afraid of great height.

In summer, I fear, you must make do with men.
But, not to worry, soon fall comes again.
Then you can return to your own faithful moose
And revel in supremely scrumptious screws.

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