(Mike Cross, 1983)
One night some friends and I went out
To have us a couple of rounds.
When who should appear there at the bar
But the drunkard of the town.
He came through the door with a rush and a roar,
Drinking more than the bar could bring.
Then he ordered up another and another and another
And he began to sing:
``Why do I drink, oh, why do I drink?
You ask me once again.
Well if I didn't drink then how could I stand
The drunkard that I am?''
The Lord takes care of fools and drunks
He said with a smiling face,
And I might not be a fool you see
So I'm trying to play it safe
And he asked me why I don't get sober
Well I've tried that before
Once I got sober and the old hangover
Made me drink that much more
With that he stumbled out the door
With many a crash and crack
Tripped head over heels and landed smack
In the middle of the railroad track
Then flat on his belly he began to crawl
Along the old cross ties
And as he crawled up the railroad track
We could hear him cry:
We watched him crawl up the railroad track
For a hundred yards or so
Then all of a sudden we saw him stop
And heard him start to moan.
``Could someone help me down,'' he cried.
``I'm drunk out of my mind
And this is the tallest ladder
That I've ever tried to climb.''
Copyright Mike Cross