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Doctor Price There was a man called Doctor Price Who lived on lettuce nuts and rice He worshipped both the moon and sun And walked the hills with nothing on. cho: Saying I don't care a bugger (x3) What anybody thinks of me The randy doctor in his day Put lots of girls in the family way His little bastards could be seen From Pontypool to Pontyclun. The Nonconformists didn't like The practices of Doctor Price They say he wasn't nice to know He had an enormous libido. So at the age of eighty eight The doctor thought he'd take a mate He married a girl called Gwenllian And became the father of her son. A doting dad was Doctor Price He called the baby 'Jesus Christ' He wrapped it in a flannel shawl The bonniest bastard of them all. But one year later sad to say The Doctor's baby passed away So after chapel one dark night He set the little corpse alight. The Doctor thought it quite a joke To watch the kid go up in smoke He took the ashes with a grin And kept them in a biscuit tin. But when the local deacons saw That Doctor Price had broke the law They shouted at him 'ach a fi' And put him under lock and key. The Doctor told the Magistrate He didn't care about his fate 'It was the most hygienic way, I'll be a famous man some day' The morning that the Doctor died His children sat at his bedside He drank a bottle of champagne And started singing once again. He told his children in his will To Burn him on Llantrisant hill They built a crematorium And the Doctor went to Kingdom Come. It's thanks to Doctor William Price That modern corpses have the choice To linger in the mouldering clay Or go up the chimney straight away. Dr William Price 1800 -1898 was a druid a surgeon a Chartist, a lawyer a bard a nudist , a vegetarian and a pioneer of cremation. a prominent working class leader and social agitator. The theme of the song is totally true. Song goes to the tune of So Early In the Morning or Keep That Wheel A-Turning. XXDownload the song in PDF format for printout etc.