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Cucumber Song

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Cucumber Song

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Cucumber Song

A restless young lady from Phuket,
Developed a wonderful trend,
To purchase cucumbers for pleasure,
'Cause she found they were better than men.

cho: So line up for your cucumbers, ladies,
     They're selling for two bucks apiece,
     Your frustrated days are all over,
     'Cause cucumbers never get pissed.

In Asia they're eaten with chilies,
In Britain they're put between bread,
But in Phuket we use them as teddies,
'Cause we know that they'll never want head.

They'll never leave stains on the mattress,
They're happy to live in the fridge,
The loo seat is never left standing,
And I've never seen cucumber kids.

So watch out you self-centered guys,
You're not quite as great as you think,
There's no guarantee it will work again,
And we can't trade you in when it shrinks.

Tune:Botany Bay
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E-Book - An Annotated Compendium of Old Time American Songs by James Alverson III