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The Copilot I am a copilot, I sit on the right I'm quick and courageous; I'm wonderfully bright My job is remembering what the captain forgets And I never talk back, so I have no regrets. cho: I'm a lousy copilot and a long way from home. I make out the flight plan and study the weather, Pull up the gear, drop it, and stand by to feather I make out his mail forms, I hire his whores, And I fly his old crate to the tune of his snores. I make out the flight plan according to Hoyle I take all the readings, I check on the oil, I hustle him out for the midnight alarm I fly through the fog while he sleeps on my arm. I treat him to coffee, I keep him in cokes I laugh at his corn and his horrible jokes And once in a while, when his landings are rusty, I come through with, "Yessiree captain,it's gusty!" All in all, I'm commissioned a general stooge I sit on the right of this high-flying Scrooge Some day I'll make captain, and then I'll be blest, I'll give my poor tongue one long hell of a rest. From The Wild Blue Yonder, Oscar Brand