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Away With Rum

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Away With Rum

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Away With Rum
We're coming, we're coming, our brave little band
On the right side of temperance we do take our stand
We don't use tobacco, because we do think
The people who use it are likely to drink

     Away, away with rum by gum, with rum by gum, with rum by gum
     Away, away with rum by gum, the song of the temperance union
We never eat fruit cake because it has rum
And one little taste turns a man to a bum
Oh, can you imagine a sorrier sight
Than a man eating fruit cake until he gets tight
We never eat cookies because they have yeast
And one little bite turns a man to a beast
Oh, can you imagine a sadder disgrace
Than a man in the gutter with crumbs on his face
If you wash your hair, never rinse it with beer
Because if you do, you'll get foam in your ear
And if there's one thing a young man must dread
It's dating a girl with a head on her head
If you pick your navel, don't do it with a knife
Because if you do you'll get the shock of your life
Oh, can you imagine a site quite a horrid
As a man pulling out his umbilical cord
We never eat peaches, because peaches ferment
And peaches ferment at the least little dent
Oh can you imagine a sorrier sight
Than a man drunk on peaches he thought were alright
We never eat oatmeal, because oatmeal is mush
And one little bite turns a man to a lush
Oh can you imagine the pain of a ma
To watch little junior act just like his pa
We never chew toothpicks because we recall
That wood ferments into wood alcohol
Oh can you imagine a sorrier sight
Than a man chewing toothpicks until he gets tight
We never drink water, they put it in gin
One little sip and a man starts to grin
Oh can you imagine the horrible sight
Of a man drinking water and singing all night
recorded by Theo Bikel on Folksinger's Choice, also Mitchell Trio
DC
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E-Book - An Annotated Compendium of Old Time American Songs by James Alverson III