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170 CLARENCE McFADEN
Sung in 1931 by Mrs. John Lambertson, Belding, who learned the song from her uncle when she was a child.
i Clarence McFaden he wanted to waltz, But his feet was not gaited that way; So he saw a professor and stated his case And said he was willing to pay; Professor looked down in alarm at his feet, And he viewed their enormous expanse; So he tucked on a five to his regular price For learning McFaden to dance.
One, two, three, just balance like me.
Though you're a fairy, you still have your faults.
Your right foot is lazy, your left foot is crazy;
Now don't be unaizy, and 111 teach you to waltz.
2 He took out McFaden before the whole class And showed him the step once or twice. McFaden's two feet they got tied in a knot; Sure he thought he was standing on ice.
At last he got loose and struck out with a will, Never looking behind or before; His head it got dizzy, he fell on his face, And chewed all the wax off the floor.
3 When Clarence had practiced the step for awhile, Sure, he thought he had got it down fine;
He went to a girl and asked her to dance And then wheeled her out into line; He walked on her feet and he fractured her toes And vowed that her movements were false; Poor girl went around for two weeks on a crutch For learning McFaden to waltz.
4 McFaden soon got the step into his head, But it would not go into his feet;