Ugly Mrs. Fenn
One cold March Mornin, a coastal methers more,
my shepard dog Clancy yawnin distasteful chore,
Me mother sent me out with some soup for Mrs. Fenn
Whose husband fell on his Dicky, and couldn't get up again.
Chorus:
St.Patrick lead me to the gate, St.Peter let me in.
For I don't wanna see the face of ugly Mrs.Fenn,
she comes from France and she wears pants and smells like fishermen,
St.Patrick lead me to the gate, St.Peter let me in.
I knocked three times and Mrs.Fenn ooopened up the door,
a nasty uglier hag I had never seen before,
she had hairy moles, and blackened teeth, and weighed 900 pounds,
poor Clancy took one look at her and fell dead on the ground.
Chorus:
St.Patrick lead me to the gate, St.Peter let me in.
For I don't wanna see the face of ugly Mrs.Fenn,
She drinks from kegs has hairy legs, and a hideous devil's grin,
St.Patrick lead me to the gate, St.Peter let me in.
She took the soup from me hands and bid me do come in,
it might make me husband smile if you pay your respects to him,
so I took off me cap and coat, walked over to his bed,
he whispered to me "Closer lad!" and this is what he said;
(whispered)
St.Patrick lead me to the gate, St.Peter let me in.
For I can't stand another day livin with Mrs.Fenn,
Me aligazzify marry a seriously drunkin whilin friend
St.Patrick lead me to the gate, St.Peter let me in.
I felt so sorry for the man I started in to cry
I reached into me pocket for me traveller of Rye
We drank and we cried together till our eyes were red and sore,
We got so drunk that we couldn't see her ugly face no more.
St.Patrick lead me to the gate, St.Peter let me in.
For I don't wanna see the face of ugly Mrs.Fenn,
St.Patrick lead me to the gate, St.Peter let me in.
For I don't wanna see the face of ugly Mrs.Fenn.
