The Sick Note
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V 1: Dear Sir I write this note to inform you of my plight
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And at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
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My body is all black and blue, my face a deadly gray
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I write this note to tell why Paddy's not at work today
V 2: While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear
And to throw them down from off the top seemed quite a good idea
But the foreman wasn't very pleased, he beeing an awful sod
Ve 3: Well, clearing all these brick by hand, it seemed so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below
But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks isd heavier than me
V 4: So when I had untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
I took off like a rocket and to my dismay I found
That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down
V 5: Well the barrel broke my shoulder as on to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with my head
I held on tight, though numb with shock from this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half its load fourteen floors below
Verse 6: Now when those building bricks fell from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel so I started down once more
I held on tightly to the rope as I flew to the ground
And I landed on those broken bricks that were all scattered round
V 7: Now as I lay there on the deck I thought I'd passed the worst
But when the barrel reached the top, that's when the bottom burst
A shower of bricks came down on me, I knew I had no hope
In all of this confusion, I let go the bloody rope
V 8: The barrel being heavier, it started down once more
And landed right on top of me as I lay on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I can only say
That I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today