I Played On My Spanish Guitar-1941
Regal Zonophone MR3553 Lyons
I'm Bull Tonsilliter, the finest bullfighter that ever came out of Madrid.
With bulls I can juggle, though madly they struggle, they can't get away from this kid
There's nobody else could be keener, it's a treat to watch me fight the bull.
I chase them all round the arena and make nasty scars on their skull.
Then I play on my Spanish guitar, tralla, la, la, la, la, la, 1a, la.
It must be a good un, it isn't a dud un, I bought it at Woolworth's bazaar, ha,ha.
The president's wife is the curse of his life,
She loves drinking wine 'til she's full.
One night she got canned and fell out o' grandstand
Right onto a nasty big bull.
Then over it's head the bull tossed her,
I laughted and began to recite
"There was a young lady from Gloucester."
And the bullocks all roared with delight.
Then I played on my Spanish guitar,
Now I'm sure that old dame's got a scar.
The bull caught her bending, it's really heart rending
She's got to stand up in the car, ha, ha.
I've had lots of fights and I've had a few frights,
There was once when the bull got me down.
He jumped on my corns and stuck both of his horns
In my shanty in old shanty town.
His eyes they were staring and glassy,
I could feel his hot breath in my ear.
So I stabbed him three times in the chassis
And wished him a happy new year.
Then I played on my Spanish guitar
While the people all shouted "hurrah".
That bull got a shock, so he turned into Oxo,
You'll find him on sale in the bar, ha, ha.
I've left old Madrid, it's a good job I did
I'd get shot if I went there again.
They gave me the sack but I got my own back
They'll be sorry they chased me from Spain.
I'll bet that old town is excited,
In the bull ring there'll be lots of rows.
But the animals, they'll be delighted
'cos I've mixed all the bulls with the cows.
So I play on my Spanish guitar,
If I practise I'll soon be a star.
But don't tell a soul, 'cos I'm going on the dole
'till I've mastered this lousy guitar, ha, ha.