Folk & Traditional Song Lyrics www.traditionalmusic.co.uk I've Got a Ferret 
I've Got a Ferret (John Cleese) 
I've got a ferret sticking up my nose. It starts wriggling when I wear my formal clothes. How it got there, I can't tell, But now it's there, it hurts like hell. And what is more, it radically affects my sense of smell. 
I can see a bare-bottomed mandrill Slyly eyeing my other nostril. I really don't know what to do, But if he jumps inside there, too, I shall be the proud possessor of a kind of nasal zoo. 
I've got a ferret sticking up my nose. It's all right when it is in repose, But when it starts to move about, There is really not the slightest doubt. 
It tends to irritate the mucous membranes up my snout. 
BR