Thoughts on Minnesota's 1998 Election
(D. Ellis Dickerson)
What could it have been that allowed him to win?
Just an off-kilter phase of the moon?
Were the ballots abstract? Is it linked to the fact
Their official state bird is the loon?
Any guy with his past should've finished dead last!
But the votes that were counted insure a
New gov in the Hall at the heart of St. Paul
Known as Jesse "The Body" Ventura.
That a single-term mayor and third-party player
Who used to cry "murder the ref!"
And who wore cape and tights in the fictional fights
of the WWF--
That this scary bald pate is the head of a state--
Well, the pundits are stunned! It's a sin!
But if Jesse "The Body" Ventura can do it,
There's hope if you see the right spin...
I admit he's a brute, but it could be a hoot!
Here's a governor no one can cow!
He can break senate deadlocks by threatening headlocks!
He'll butt heads with buttheads--and how!
Maybe someday he'll be a state rep in D.C.--
He'd give "floor of the House" a new meaning!
It could turn C-SPAN 2 into prime pay-per-view!
(And I'd buy the front row at the screening.)
In a cynical time when invention's a crime
And where change is defanged by committees,
And the usual wins are political "ins"
Who have friends stuffing pork in their kitties,
It's a joy knowing folks can elect their own jokes,
Not the ones that the experts have handy.
So if Jesse "The Body" Ventura can do it,
Democracy's doing just dandy.
No tune supplied, more's the pity. It will work to
Mountains of Mourne (or to Gilbert and Sullivan's