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Northeast Passage (C. Miller and J. Hoffman) cho: Ah, for just one time I would take a northeast passage To find a Jewish princess reaching for my wallet thin, With her well-coiffed hair and her extra-long eyelashes And a Mother, waiting, eager to move in. Westward from New Jersey, 'twas there I often hied The she-route to stark poverty, o'er which so many cried. Seeking golden beauty, Ralph Lauren covered bones Picking from amongst so many clones. Three short weeks thereafter I had bought a wedding band Then off to the caterer with my checkbook in my hand And down to Castor Avenue to rent a tux and then To the photographer, my mother-in-law's best friend. Through the night below us, the mileage clicking south I listen to the promises from my beloved's mouth Then false hopes rise before me, and behind me sink again In Miami now the headaches soon begin. How then was I so different from the first who passed this way? Like them I left a single life and threw it all away To seek a northeast passage I'll never try again I might date shiksas, or maybe switch to men final chorus: Ah, for one last time did I take etc.