Folk and Traditional Song Lyrics:
Burma Shave Signs

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Burma Shave Signs

Burma Shave Signs

  His cheek
    Was rough
      His chick vamoosed
        And now she won't

Come home to roost
            Burma-Shave

    The place to pass
      On curves
        You know

Is only at
            A beauty show
              Burma-Shave

    On curves ahead
      Remember, sonny
        That rabbit's foot

Didn't save
            The bunny
              Burma-Shave

    Twinkle, twinkle
      One-eyed car
        We all wonder

Where you are
            Burma-Shave

    These signs
      We gladly
        Dedicate

To men who've had
            No date of late
              Burma-Shave

    A guy
      Who drives
        A car wide open

Is not thinkin'
            He's just hopin'
              Burma-Shave

    A whiskery kiss
      For the one
        You adore

May not make her mad
            But her face will be sore
              Burma-Shave

    His brush is gone
      So what'll we do
        Said Mike Robe I

To Mike Robe II
            Burma-Shave

    If your peach
      Keeps out
        Of reach

Better practice
            What we preach
              Burma-Shave

    When Super-shaved
      Remember, pard
        You'll still get slapped

But not so hard
            Burma-Shave

    Burma-Shave
      Was such a boom
        They passed

The bride
            And kissed the groom

    To kiss
      A mug
        That's like a cactus

Takes more nerve
            Than it does practice
              Burma-Shave

    The whale
      Put Jonah
        Down the hatch

But coughed him up
            Because he scratched
              Burma-Shave

    Violets are blue
      Roses are pink
        On graves

Of those
            Who drive and drink
              Burma-Shave

    Candidate says
      Campaign
        Confusing

Babies kiss me
            Since I've been using
              Burma-Shave

    My job is
      Keeping faces clean
        And nobody knows

De stubble
            I've seen
              Burma-Shave

    Doesn't
      Kiss you
        Like she useter?

Perhaps she's seen
            A smoother rooster!!
              Burma-Shave

    No use
      Knowing
        How to pick 'em

If your half-shaved
            Whiskers stick 'em
              Burma-Shave

    He tried
      To cross
        As fast train neared

Death didn't draft him
            He volunteered
              Burma-Shave

    Her chariot
      Raced 80 per
        They hauled away

What had
            Ben Her
              Burma-Shave

    She will flood
      Your face with kisses
        'Cause you smell
           So darn delicious
             Burma-Shave Lotion

    Use Burma-Shave
      In tube or jar
        Then follow up

With our new star
            Burma-Shave Lotion

    It has a tingle
      And a tang
        That starts

The day off
            With a bang
              Burma-Shave Lotion

    Bracing as
      An ocean breeze
        For after shaving

It's sure to please
            Burma-Shave Lotion

    For early morning
      Pep and bounce
        A brand new product

We announce
            Burma-Shave Lotion

    The ladies take
      One whiff and purr--
        It's no wonder

Men prefer
            Burma-Shave Lotion

    His face was smooth
      And cool as ice
        And oh! Louise!

He smelled so nice
            Burma-Shave Lotion

    I'd heard it praised
      By drug store clerks
        I tried the stuff

Hot dog!
            It works
              Burma-Shave

    Train wrecks few
      Reason clear
        Fireman never

Hugs engineer
            Burma-Shave

    Altho insured
      Remember, kiddo
        They don't pay you

They pay
            Your widow
              Burma-Shave

     Hardly a man
      Is now alive

Who passed on a hill
             At seventy-five
               Burma-Shave

     Fingers were made
       Before brushes.

Use 'em
              They're safer
                You can't lose 'em.
                 Burma-Shave

     A mile
       A minute

There's no
            Future
              In it
                Burma Shave

     Don't be
        Like

That curve
            Dead
              Ahead
                Burma Shave

     note: Not music but, for several decades, folklore. These sequential signs
lined America's highways (pre-Interstates) and provided huge amusement for
several generations of car-bound kids.

RG, CH, SOF
oct00
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E-Book - An Annotated Compendium of Old Time American Songs by James Alverson III