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The Ballad of the Bobbit Hillbillies Here's a little story of a man named John, A poor ex-marine (with a little fraction gone) It seems one night after gettin' with the wife She lopped off his schlong with the swipe of a knife. (Penis, that is) (Rodeoed, fillet-ioed) Well the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side And Lorena's in the car takin' Willie for a ride, She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend And tossed him out the window as she rounded out a bend. (Curve, that is) (Pricker shrubs, wheel hubs) She went to the cops and confessed to the attack And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back They sniffed, and they barked, and they pointed "over there" To John Wayne's henry that was wavin' in the air. (Found, that is) (By a fence, evidence) Now peter and John couldn't stay apart too long So a dick-doc said, "Hey! I can fix your dong A needle and a thread's just the thing you're gonna need." Then the world held its breath 'till they heard that John peed. (Wizzed, that is) (Stitched seam, straight stream) Well, he healed, and he hardened, and he took the case to court With a cock-eyed lawyer (since his assets came up short), The cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape. (Video, that is) tune: Ballad of Jed Clampett (Beverly Hillbillies theme) RGDownload the song in PDF format for printout etc.