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HELL IN TEXAS
T HE devil, we're told, in hell was chained, And a thousand years he there remained; He never complained nor did he groan, But determined to start a hell of his own, Where he could torment the souls of men Without being chained in a prison pen. So he asked the Lord if he had on hand Anything left when he made the land.
The Lord said, " Yes, I had plenty on hand, But I left it down on the Rio Grande; The fact is, old boy, the stuff is so poor I don't think you could use it in hell anymore." But the devil went down to look at the truck, And said if it came as a gift he was stuck; For after examining it carefully and well He concluded the place was too dry for hell.
So, in order to get it off his hands, The Lord promised the devil to water the lands; For he had some water, or rather some dregs, A regular cathartic that smelled like bad eggs. Hence the deal was closed and the deed was given And the Lord went back to his home in heaven. And the devil then said, " I have all that is needed To make a good hell," and hence he succeeded.