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American Ballads and Folk Songs
Oh, I used to whittle toothpicks for King Saul, And I clubbed the big Goliath with a maul.
Though the son of Priam swore,
And the Trojan host got sore, I Bostoned with fair Helen on the wall*
I was there when John Baptist lost his head, And I heard the very words Salome saidj
When they brought the bloody charger, Both his eyes were growing larger, My gosh! A dance like that would raise the dead.
Oh, I sailed with Cleopatra on the Nile, And thus she whispered to me with a smile:
"Now, as for poor old Tony,
I always thought him phony, But I certainly am struck on you a pile."
I was present at the battle of the Nile, And did the bullets fly, well I should smile.
And when Pharaoh hit the King,
With a cutlass on the wing, I was lying at the bottom of the pile.
I was present when they sopped up Caesar's gore, When the Senators went skating round the floor j It was I who swiped the crown, That he foolishly turned down, And I hocked it with a Jew in Baltimore.
I was there when Cincinnatus left the plow, And the Roman thus addressed me with a bow,
"Now if you would only go,
I would surely be de trop, And could stay at home and milk my Jersey cow."